Being Human & Under Construction~Part Two


Photo by Bart Anestin on Unsplash

While the Being Human part was the planned summer change, the other thing that happened was totally, 100% unplanned. I went into a phase I like to call “under construction”.  It’s kind of like the road construction you see in the summer. A ton of roads all blocked off, traffic backed up—it’s a mess— but an organized mess— with the intention that at the end everything will run better. I think I’m getting back to the point where I can reopen all the lanes. I think. I won’t rush it, though. I’m still just going with the flow.

One thing that I’ve remembered about change and transformation: It’s freaking hard sometimes! And exhausting. And so not easy, but so very worth it, when you make the commitment to show up every day and try your best. I triggered the construction phase with a series of classes and extended spiritual practice time for myself every single day(think writing in my journal and meditating and asking the big questions of Spirit for myself—not for someone else). It was time to stop and really look at who I am now—not who I was. The result was subtle and huge, all at the same time.  I’m still trying to figure out how to weave in everything I learned into both life and work.

The construction phase also triggered a complete revamping of my website. It will go live soon-ish, maybe? I’m still working on it. After reading through the site last week, I realized how much I’ve changed over the years—and how much the website hasn’t. The result will be an entirely new site that includes some new fun, limited time offers in the Soul Tarot section and a better description of what my Angel and Soul Journey sessions consist of(when did those change??).

I became so swirled up with the change— if I wasn’t working on myself, I ended up just wanting to be human and gaze at the seas and the mountains. The blog suffered but kinda needed a re-birth anyway. I’m looking at it with fresh eyes and am just allowing it to shift where it wants to be. I don’t know what that is, yet but I am looking forward to seeing it when it happens.

Change isn’t over yet. I’ve signed up for another intensive (guess I’m really into this whole self-improvement thing or I’m just plain crazy) that is sure to bring more transformation this fall. We will also be moving in 9-10 months, so there’s that. I’m looking forward to all of it but I also realize I’m going to need a few naps before I begin.

Why am I sharing this? I think it’s because we look at healers and spiritual advisors and psychics and think—wow they are so pulled together. They clearly know their path—why don’t I see things so clearly?? I’ll let you in on a secret: I have no idea where I’m going. None. I’m the least psychic for myself. I think sometimes it’s important to show the world that you are a work in progress, so that other people can relax into their own construction zone and work in progress.

How do I navigate forward when I don’t see where I’m going? Trust. Trust that Spirit has my back because everyday in sessions for everyone else I see that Spirit 100% has their back, so why wouldn’t they have mine, too?

I also look at Spirit like they are partners in this life. They are here to work with us in creating some really amazing experiences. As long as I show up, they will show up, so I work on showing up everyday and connecting to them. You can too. Through meditation, journaling, prayer, dreams. Just commit to it and they won’t let you down.

Another thing I’ve learned over the years: Be really open to the outcome. Your creation with Spirit may not look like you think it’s supposed to look. That’s ok. Be open to what it wants to grow into. Spirit shows it to me like this:

If you’re growing a rose bush, you wouldn’t tell the rose bush how to grow—I want a branch here, a bloom there, a few more leaves here. No. You’d water it, feed it, make sure it had enough sun(talk to it, if you garden like our house does) and then you’d celebrate however it decided to grow and whatever it turned into, thinking it was the most beautiful creation on earth.

Don’t try and control your rose bush. Nourish yourself and be curious about what you grow into. Don’t dictate how you think it should look. And when your blooms finally appear, celebrate them like they are the most glorious experiences on Earth. Because they are.

I’d love to hear how your summer went. Did you go through a transformation? Or was it more subtle, like shifting from one thing to the next? I think sharing how awkward change can be is important. We can get so critical of ourselves when we’re all in it and up to our eyeballs.  Feel free to share your story in the comments below. And stay tuned to see how the rest of the year unfolds. It’s shaping up to be a big one.